Madness: A Bipolar Life by Marya Hornbacher

 Madness: A Bipolar Life by Marya Hornbacher
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

2008

I think the author says it best.

"It's taken me exactly two months to leave my husband, find a new playmate and move across the country to my brand-new life."

"I still haven't made the connection between my drinking and the maniacal swings of my mood. I don't see the chaos around me as moods. I see it as a chaotic life that I'm simply too weak to manage well. And, for that matter, I more than welcome the highs, and the fact that the alcohol makes them even higher. And the lows, the screaming fits that morph into deep despair and back up again, the terrifying flights of fantasy, the inability to control my impulses? That's all just me being my usual fucked up self. I think the alcohol is helping me to manage my life."

Eventually her life comes full circle to a place where she is more accepting of her condition and its ramifications.


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Some of my notes:

June 15- "It's taken me exactly two months to leave my husband, find a new playmate and move across the country to my brand-new life." 

"I still haven't made the connection between my drinking and the maniacal swings of my mood. I don't see the chaos around me as moods. I see it as a chaotic life that I'm simply too weak to manage well. And, for that matter, I more than welcome the highs, and the fact that the alcohol makes them even higher. And the lows, the screaming fits that morph into deep despair and back up again, the terrifying flights of fantasy, the inability to control my impulses? That's all just me being my usual fucked up self. I think the alcohol is helping me to manage my life." 

June 20, 2015 – "Some of things I won't do are things you take for granted; many of the things I want to do, but can't. This isn't the end of the world. It's just the way things are. Managing mental illness is all about acceptance - of the things you can't do, and the things you must."