October 27, 2020
NetGalley
Memoir, arc, nonfiction
Random House
224 pages
ISBN: 9780593134696
10/31-11/3
I received a complimentary digital copy of this book from the publisher and NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review.
At 70 years old, author Elizabeth Berg reflects on the decline in her aging parents back in 2010. Her 89 year old father begins to show signs of Alzheimer’s disease which is heartbreaking. She remembers him as a strict, militant Army “lifer” who slowly starts to “lose” it. During that time Elizabeth and her siblings try to support and ensure their parents are safe with her brother living in Hawaii and her living in Chicago, the major responsibilities fall on her sister Vicki who lives nearby. This is ultimately the year or so before the death of her father and eventually her mother.
Her parents had married in January 1943 at an Army base in TX. They always lived a modest life relying on each other throughout their years together. They would take her father to visit his brother Frank in a nursing home where they could reminisce on their past military days. It was her mother Jeanne who seemed to struggle the most with the all changes of aging and declining health. She was resistant and resentful about the curveball life has thrown at her refusing to resign to the life of an “old” person.
It is not a sappy love story about parents who “lived happily ever after” fairytale. She describes a history to which most can probably relate with imperfect parents whose lives slowly change in ways they never anticipated. The independent father soon becomes the frail confused man in need of constant surveillance and reliance on his wife. The mother who becomes angry and resentful when having to resign to selling their family home.
It’s a touching story of endurance and support as well as the frustrations that arise with aging. I think most people would prefer to age gracefully with our pride and dignity intact. It’s a delicate and precarious balance to ensure that happens while maintaining the safety and support that is essential.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3501107348
https://www.bookbub.com/reviews/3787787632
https://www.edelweiss.plus/?sku=0593134672&g=4400
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